Becoming Buoyant: A Place Beyond Healing

If you’re reading this you’re likely no stranger to inner work and all the process that goes along with it. I get it. I’m the Queen when it comes to unpacking my “stuff.”

One of the biggest changes we undergo as we expand our awareness of who we are, is the realization that we are not our stories. The understanding that the past need not rule us, and we don’t need to bring it into our lives.

It’s not always an overnight epiphany, either. For those of us on a spiritual path, we tend to spend a whole lot of time around this awareness. 

At first we might spend some time in therapy, going over our past experiences and comparing our current reactions to people and events in our lives with our historical traumas, becoming aware of our habits and patterns, and learning to make different choices and responses based on our new understanding.

We might get a lot from reading self-help and personal development books that teach us strategies for handling the emotions that come when those past experiences are activated in our nervous system and we feel like “it’s happening again.” We start to improve our relationships and life experience through managing our responses to our stories.

We discover we are not responsible for what happened to us as children, and that in early life we learned to be in agreement with the stories our parents and other authority figures carried over from their own histories, and we can now begin to let those go.

From this level of awareness we learn that traumatic events get stored in the body, and in our human ingenuity we have developed hundreds of magnificent modalities for healing and transforming these habits of thought and trapped emotion, offering freedom of mind and body. 

And so we keep healing, we keep peeling back layers, like the proverbial onion. Years later, we can look back and see how far we’ve come. 

But then what? Do we just keep going on, ad infinitum? Is there a center to the Tootsie Pop?

There are some schools of thought that say you just keep peeling until there are no more layers. Some say that peeling the layers is the meaning of life, and it’s how we’re meant to grow and evolve.

And yet I’ve never heard of anyone, not even a Master, getting to the center of the onion. 

The thing is, as wonderful and beneficial as this road is, if we continue to look for something to fix, we will always find it. The Universe/Source/Divine is generous that way. So if we want to move beyond this constant processing, we eventually come up against the counterintuitive  realization that the only way to be done with it all is to stop seeking out the layers in the first place.

What we often discover after we spend a while “working on ourselves,” is that there’s a level of consciousness - many levels, really - beyond our need for healing our wounded places. A fuller, truer, clearer place where the stories and wounds actually cease to exist. Well, the original inciting event still factually exists in our history, but we’re not carrying its weight anymore. 

We step into a level of awareness where we realize that not only are we not our stories, but we aren’t limited at all. In fact, we’re a part of everything that is, and we are loved beyond measure. Unconditionally.

From here there’s no lack or limitation, there’s no judgement. No illusion of separation. From here it’s just joy and love and play and creation. Nothing to fix; nothing’s broken. 

And it doesn’t take any correction or release or healing to enter this awareness. It’s really just the willingness to let go of the other stuff. Letting go of the density of the identities we’ve created for ourselves to protect us from judgement, protect us from shame or fear. We don’t even step into it; we’re already here.

The frequency of this state is much higher than our 3D (separation, duality, things happen to us outside of our control or influence) or 4D (I am not my past/wounds/traumas, healing takes place) levels of consciousness. Not in a hierarchical way. Frequency just indicates how fast the wave is oscillating. We could easily say it’s a much faster frequency. And at this rate of vibration our stories and emotional debris don’t even exist.

It’s just that we tend to recreate them when we drift back down into the slower frequencies out of habit, or the belief that we must do so. It’s not a conscious thing. We identify with our “stuff.” We think it’s who we are, and we don’t know who we’d be without it. We’re so used to steering by our old stories that we can’t imagine our lives without them. We’re on autopilot.

And that’s totally fine. There’s no rush to get anywhere. There’s no expectation. No way of perceiving is any better than any other way. And there’s a lot to enjoy and appreciate about the realms of healing and resolution. 

For me, though, there was a point where it just wasn’t that interesting anymore. I’d been around and around the block for years, never really getting where I wanted to go. I’d heal a thing, I’d grow, I’d feel a little better - in fact after many years I felt a LOT better in many ways. 

But then another version of the thing would come back, or something would push a button deeply and unexpectedly and I’d spiral, believing I had to solve something if I was ever to get out of my fear and despair. 

I got exhausted from it. And I got bored with chasing all of my dragons all of the time. Now, mind you I’m an absolute expert at slaying my dragons. There wasn’t one I couldn’t vanquish. But I discovered that the dragon was really a Hydra, and another head would always spring up…

I was ready to live. To put down my sword and play instead. And then I learned to let myself rise, to float. To step into Who I Really Am. And then things got really fun. 

“ I discovered that the dragon was really a Hydra, and another head would always spring up…”

And this isn’t the End of the proverbial Road, in terms of evolution, by any means. There is always more. There is always another level of perception, awareness, consciousness. Always something else to discover, experience, express. 

This level of consciousness is where the illusion of separation starts to fall away, and you realize your infinite power. Your power to draw the miraculous and the magical to you. Your power to see the world through the eyes of love. The power to love without judgement, and to draw to you all those things your heart desires. 

This level of awareness is often referred to as the 5th dimension (although without separation it includes every other dimension by its very nature) and it lifts everything around it. It ignites compassion, it spreads joy like wildfire. It yields clarity, Knowing, and solutions. 

And it’s Who We Really Are. 

Now there are some who describe this as spiritual bypass, but I don’t see it that way. From here you see that everyone is your equal, in fact everyone is a part of you. And when you love yourself you could never deliberately harm another. Judge another. You see them as powerful creators the same as yourself, and when you see them that way it opens the way for them to see it too. To receive herself as whole, loved, divine. 

It’s not a place without action, it’s simply a place where clarity and love drives the bus. 

This isn’t to say that I’m in an exalted state of consciousness 24/7. Nor does it mean I never seek out healing. Only now the 5D realm is more of a home base than the healing realms. Now, instead of having an experience of high-frequency consciousness and then floating back down, now the opposite is true. I can step into lower/slower density, fiddle around for a minute, but then remember where I prefer to be - where I am most effective and most content - and I float back up. 

Once again, one way is not better than the other. If it weren’t for all the transformation I’ve done in 4D my nervous system wouldn’t even let me get to this other place. If your nervous system isn’t on board it’s a whole lot harder to float.

Just if you’ve been doing this inner work for a while, I invite you to play with this distinction a bit and see if you notice a difference in your own experience. 

Or if you’ve been wondering if you’ll ever get out of therapy, or ever heal all the trauma or release enough stuck emotions to heal your body, maybe consider stepping beyond it all. Feel into the place where your soul resides, where the greater part of you is waiting for you to remember All You Really Are. To remember that you are loved beyond measure, that everything really is okay, and that you hold the power that creates worlds within you at all times.

Because when we lift, when we change the lens we see the world through, we lift the world with us. When we see the world through the eyes of love, nothing can stay the same. 

And it just keeps getting better.