Coming Through!: Navigating an Anger Wave
Coming Through!: Navigating an Anger Wave
Raise your hand if the general vibes feel whack-a-doodle to you. I mean still feel whack-a-doodle.
For us sensitive types it sometimes feels like a roller-coaster out there, with all the new frequencies we’re getting blasted with.
On the one hand, we’ve become more creative and resilient since the start of last year’s shutdown. Many of us have learned that what we thought we needed to feel comfortable and alive isn’t necessary at all. Lots of voluntary change happening: careers, locales, points of view.
And many of us are now energized for reinvention after last year’s incubation, creativity is heightened and innovation is on the rise.
There is still a vibe of revolution in the hopper, although it feels different than last summer’s protest energy. It’s at a different octave now, the work is evolving.
And a close sibling to this revolutionary tone is one of anger. Not necessarily a violent, combative rage, although we’re still seeing this element playing out in some octaves, but more of a focused, expansive drive to move beyond the limitations of what is still trying to hold us back, both collectively and as individuals.
I’ve been feeling it too.
Some of it feels related to stuff out there. Injustice, divisiveness, environmental upheaval all are still in sharp focus in the media and in the hearts of many. There’s definitely stuff to be done, and when the need is immediate and relief is slow, agitation is a natural result.
But I’m talking about something potentially a little different than this phenomenon. What I’m getting at is another catalytic frequency that stirs up stored anger to be released.
Now, a lot of how we experience this energy depends on the lens we’re looking through, and the density we spend most of our time in. For some of us who are healing a lot of past trauma and guck, this energy can inflame the mind, activating our past hurts. Here we tend to default to the blame game, and we get easily wrapped up in the dramas of our lives.
Let me unpack this a little bit. This wave that’s moving through us, and will be present for the next 6–12 months (according to Lee Harris. Follow is monthly “Energy Updates” for more info.) is going to be stirring up anger, moving it up and out. So it’s a healing process, but depending on what we’re focused on, it can seem very much like it’s a new thing happening right here and now.
Often when we are healing emotional wounds, and they are being digested all at once through our energy systems we can re-experience the feeling for a little while.
But if we can allow them to move through us without attaching a story to them (such as I’m so mad at my brother for not showing up to the wedding!, or Why can’t this politician behave the way I want her to?! for instance) it will resolve within minutes. Our nervous systems are done with it and healing occurs.
But when we’re hanging out in heavier places — which we do sometimes. It’s cool — we can get wrapped up in a bit of drama and have lots of unpleasant experiences as we’re sorting through what wants to be left behind.
This is a perfectly acceptable way to grind through this process. I did it for years of my life, always needing to analyze and agree to every little thing that wants to leave before allowing it to happen. I still do it once in a while. It’s slower, but it eventually gets the job done.
There are a couple of things to remember if we’re engaging with the energy in this way, though.
First, we have to remind ourselves that we are engaging with an energy. That even though we’re righteously pissed off, we’re still in a process. We have to remember that we’re still looking for that opportunity to heal, whatever way we choose to get there. Otherwise we just stay in that loop and the shift can’t happen.
Second, eventually we have to be willing to let the anger go. Drop the story, move on.
Thirdly, we have to remind ourselves to use our tools. We need to ground more, expand our light more. We need more self-care rituals, whatever those may be.
We also would do well to have someone to talk to who gets that you are in a process, no matter how real your experience is. Having connection and feedback from someone who is grounded and centered makes a huge difference in keeping the story the mind wants to spin separate from the energetics at work.
But all that being said, I find that this catalytic frequency I’m talking about feels a mite different when experienced from a slightly higher octave.
I find that when I just feel the energy itself, it isn’t an unhappy energy. It’s a very clear, very direct volition. I know what I want, I know what’s required, and nothing less will suffice. It’s anger, in a way, but pure, unattached to anything happening in my world. I’m not angry at anyone or anything. Just ferocious and focused.
In my own experience, what I do find here is occasionally a little annoyance at the things that aren’t aligned with my momentum and desire. It’s a “suffer no fools” mode, that just wants to Get Shit Done.
If you’ve ever been really into strenuous exercise, it’s like that feeling of pushing through to the endorphin rush. It’s like taking a vertical climb at a nice clip, or sprinting full-out during spin class. Or maybe like hot yoga, I imagine.
If you’ve ever watched an 18-month-old who’s just discovered screaming for fun, it feels like that. To me anyway. There’s a joy in it. Purpose.
This method of just flowing with the energy itself allows the anger and ferocity to digest much more quickly and easily than the mental engagement method described earlier. It’s a lot easier to enjoy the ride, too.
Whether you dance with the vibes or wrestle, as the layers of anger dissolve you may notice yourself feeling other emotions bubble up in its place. Fear, shame, grief, betrayal, anxiety, hurt can all be hiding underneath the anger being digested. You may notice them rising to the surface as you process.
This is because anger is sometimes a protective mechanism hiding a deeper emotion we’re hanging onto. When I’m feeling rage I know there’s something underneath that wants compassion and witnessing, and that it’s my Mama Bear self going all fiery in defense of the wounded place in me.
The real pain is deeper, and the more I’m able to feel what’s below the surface, the better I’m able to heal and integrate these fragmented parts of myself.
And the more integrated I am, the better able I am to do what I came here to do, right?
So then what does that mean for the next 6–12 months?
I imagine it means learning to communicate very clearly, outlining our needs and expectations and stating them out loud. It means holding to our boundaries, while practicing generosity and compassion. Lots of practicing.
It means simultaneously cultivating habits of joy and laughter to temper the passion and impatience. It means not taking ourselves too seriously, and maintaining our flexibility.
It means bearing in mind that everyone’s being affected by it, so everyone could probably use some tenderness and patience afforded them, too.
It also means reaching out and finding others to share your experience with. Being witnessed by a caring other who gets what you’re going through has tremendous healing potential. And when you are able to sit with others who are having similar experiences you get to provide that healing container too, which also helps your own growth and resolution.
As with anything else, this wave, too, shall pass, and we’ll all be a lot lighter when it’s done what it’s here to do. Hang in there, friends! And reach out if it gets too heavy.
Also, feel free to share in the comments if you’ve got other ways of dealing with anger or the fluctuating frequencies on the planet right now. I’d be delighted to hear what’s working for you.
You’re doing wonderful work. It’s not easy, and not always pretty, but I’m glad you’re in it with me.
